Rise of the P.E.R.M. Empire
By 'Bahamut'.
Chapter 7: Lesbians and Hamsters.
Lee studied the bright Neon light, it read ‘The Hamster Pit’. “This must be the arcade" he said. Before stepping into the small run-down building with the rest of the failure crew. It was strange however, that the arcade seemed to be populated with girls in their late teens, all scantily clad. Lee looked around and saw several girls crowded around a wooden counter, it could only be the information desk.
“Hey you lady, is this the arcade?” asked Lee. The lady behind the bar looked at him very strangely.
“No, this is a lesbian club.” She replied.
“I see.” Said Lee, truth be told, he had no idea what she had just told him. “So… do you have Dance Dance Revolution?”
“No, we have vodka reef and martinis.” She replied. Upon talking to this redheaded young woman for a few more minutes, it was discovered that her name was Willow, and she was a lesbian. A word that Lee intended to look up in the dictionary on a later date. Willow informed them that the arcade was just across the block, and offered the four a free drink before they left.
“No thanks, I’m not thirsty.” Said George. “Same here.” Added Matt. Lee was full up on kum juice, so he gratefully declined Willow’s offer.
“Three Vodka Reefs please.” Said Mike. He took them from Willow and placed 2 inside each of his coat pockets. They thanked Willow and left the Hamster Pit.
“What a nice lady.” Stated Lee.
**several minutes later**
“Three more Vodka Reefs please.” Mike had snuck back into the lesbian bar and bought some more alcohol while the others waited outside. After drinking, Mike looked for a toilet, but unfortunately he could not find the gentlemen’s toilet.
**several more minutes later**
“There he is, Helmut Fondler!”
“That’s a pigeon, George.”
“So it is, oh wait, there he is!” George pointed to the arcade. Helmut was indeed waiting outside. He hadn’t seen them yet.
“Hey, maybe we can make a surprise attack?” suggested Matt.
“Quiet you! I’m the leader. I’ll make the decisions here.” Stated Mike firmly, before collapsing in the middle of the street. Alcohol it seems, had taken its affect upon Failman. After pulling their leader to safety (well, they dragged him onto the side of the road) the crew hid behind a fat man and worked on the aforementioned surprise strategy. Many tactics were discussed, including hitting Helmut on the back of a head with a giant dildo. However, it was decided that Lee would create a diversion by doing a funny dance a few feet in front of Helmut, and then George and Matt would make a stealthy approach from behind and bum rush Helmut once they got in range. Hopefully this would cause him to jerk forward and his Perm would fall off his head, causing the Perm to lose its mind control.
A brilliant plan indeed, even the fat man agreed it was ingenious in its complexity. Well his exact words were “Stop hiding behind me you fucking freaks!” For fear of being eaten, the three remaining members proceeded swiftly and cautiously to their positions. Without their fearless leader, the failure crew would find this to be their toughest challenge yet.
How will they fare against the PERM empire in this final bout?
Will Mike ever regain consciousness?
Will Mr T make another surprise appearance?
Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?
Find out the answers to at least one of these questions in the final chapter of Rise Of The PERM empire!
Rise of the P.E.R.M. Empire
Part 8
|
