The Knights of the Failed Table
By George Phillips AKA Beavis Core AKA Dr Screwupalot.
Chapter 2: Pity The Fool!
"Wassup, fools!"
"Mr T!" the crew cheered.
"Maj sent me to fix your countries problems. I'm gonna do more than that."
"What do you mean, Mr T?" asked George.
"I don't like that fool Queen" Mr T sighed. "She's always calling me her nigger."
"Is that your only problem?" Lee asked, with a raised eyebrow. "Why don't you just quit?"
"Cos I'm Mr T, fool! I don't just quit, I get revenge!"
"Yeah! Let's do it!" yelled Mike.
"What, but I thought you and the Queen were friends?" Matt reminded him.
"Yeah, but I'm failing to be a loyal friend."
"Wow, that's a big failure, fool," said Mr T.
"It's what I do," Mike grinned.
Later, they were gathered in the library. Mr T had a book in his hands - "the legend of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table".
"Lee, read this, fool," ordered Mr T, handing the book over.
"Curtain farts like tent slap clotted nipples at smell time kangaroo."
"Matt, read this, fool," Mr T said, taking the book from Lee and handing it to Matt.
"The legend of the Round Table," Matt began. "It says how King Arthur made a Round Table, and got the best knights in all the land to join the circle, as the Knights of the Round Table, with him as their leader. What's this got to do with Failos?"
"We're gonna make our own Round Table, fools!"
"Sounds good, Mr T!" exclaimed George with a cheer.
"Then let's get to work!" ordered Mike.
The crew worked long and hard on their Round Table. Many minutes were spent working on it. However, after those minutes were over, the crew got bored and went to play scrabble, except for Matt, who continued to work. Lee won the game of scrabble, due to the fact that he couldn't read, and the other members failed to realise his words like angfeeb and migwose were technically cheating. Afterwards, the crew returned to their work. George nailed Matt's sock to the ceiling, and Mike somehow managed to saw his saw in half. However, after 8 weeks of constant work, scrabble, and Mr T beating the snot out of them for slacking, the table was finally finished. It was not round.
Instead, the table was a parallelogram. For some reason, one of the legs was made from stale loaves of bread. In the middle of the table was a hole. Was that round? No. In fact, the hole was in the shape of a triangle. Mr T gathered the group around the table.
"Congrats, fools," he began. "You are the Knights of the Failed Table."
"Hurray!" cheered the crew. But then Mike's expression changed to one of confusion.
"How many people were in the Knights of the Round Table?"
"12," said Matt, quickly glancing at the book.
"How may do we have?" asked Lee.
"George, you're the worst of us at maths, you work it out," ordered Mike.
"I calculate it to be 9."
"You have 4, fools."
"So we need another... 0!" cheered Matt, also being rubbish at maths.
"The order is complete!"
"No, it's not, fools!"
"Shut up Mr T, we don't listen to you any more," said Lee, defiantly, earning himself a chair smashed on his head.
"It's time for war!" cheered Mike.
The Knights of the Failed Table
Part 3
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